The Murder of Angela Owens Wooldridge | Part 1 of 3 | Tuesday March 8, 2022
The Murder of Angela Owens Wooldridge | Part 2 of 3 | Tuesday March 15, 2022
The Murder of Angela Owens Wooldridge | Part 3 of 3 | Tuesday March 22, 2022
In this 3rd and final episode, Wendy will talk more about the lasting impact of this horrific murder and Wendy and David will offer advice on victims and friends of victims seeking help.
Show Transcript
Wendy Lyons:
There were a lot of holes in walls, door frames and cabinets. I think the horror that she went through, the amount of what I saw in that house had to be horrific for her. And I tried to play in my mind, was she even talking? Was she so scared that she was just running? Was she screaming and pleading? Was she trying to get out the front door? Because ultimately she fell real close to the front door.
Wendy Lyons:
Warning. The podcast you’re about to listen to may contain graphic descriptions of violent assaults, murder and adult language. Listener discretion is advised.
Wendy Lyons:
Welcome to The Murder Police Podcast, the murder of Angela Owens Wooldridge, part three of three.
Wendy Lyons:
And I remember saying, “Do you need his income to live in that home?” And she said, “No, I don’t.” And I said, “Then kick him out.” And I said, “You do not need to be putting up with that. It’s clearly got you upset. It’s adding more workload to what you’ve got with your children, in life in general, as it is. Stop doing it. If it’s not bringing you happiness, it’s time to be done.” And then we just talked about some other stuff that we normally would talk about, but she was adamant that she was done. She said, “I can’t no more. I’m at the end of my road, girl. And you know when we’re done, we’re done.” And I said, “Then be done with it.”
David Lyons:
Did you get the impression in that conversation that she might actually move toward leaving him or divorcing him?
Wendy Lyons:
I do, because I knew for her done, what done meant. And I could tell when she was getting upset and starting to kind of cry, I knew that she was so mad. And I had seen her… Keep in mind, we’ve [inaudible 00:02:23] relationships together for 31 years now. I knew that done for her was… When it was done, it was done, and I knew she was done.
David Lyons:
And that’s the last time you had spoken to her?
Wendy Lyons:
She had texted me a couple things thereafter. You recall she texted about a vacation that I think he was wanting her to take with him. But we didn’t talk talk after that, no.
David Lyons:
Well, let’s take it a few weeks out then. What day was she murdered?
Wendy Lyons:
She was murdered on Sunday, February 6th, 2022.
David Lyons:
And where was she at when she was killed?
Wendy Lyons:
She was in her home.
David Lyons:
Was she alone? Was it just him and her or…
Wendy Lyons:
No. Her three younger children were home.
David Lyons:
That makes it even more tragic. When did you find out and how did you find out? And I’m asking that because I watched you go through this, but I think it’s an important part of the story.
Wendy Lyons:
Well, you were in the office working, and I was watching a crime show, go figure. What else is on our TV, right? So I was watching that and I had the laptop up. I was doing a little bit of work and going back and forth with Facebook. And we have a page here in Nicholasville that says what’s happening in Nicholasville. And I remember it popped up and somebody said, “Did anyone hear gunshots around Williams Drive?” As soon as I read that, I knew. I instantly got that little feeling in my stomach. And I thought, no, surely not. So the road that these shots were heard on was across from the road that they lived on. There was a road in between, but a main street in between. In my mind, I think I really knew. I felt it. I just felt it. But I thought, no, maybe you can’t hear shots from that street to that street. Because Williams Drive’s a long road. So what if it’s at the end? You wouldn’t hear that.
Wendy Lyons:
So I kind of let it go. It kind of still bothered me. And I think I even came in there to you and said, “Did you see where somebody heard gunshots on Williams?” And then I went back in, resumed my show. And it was probably 30 or 40 minutes later, a news headline popped up and it just simply said Murder-Suicide, Nicholasville, Kentucky. And our remember coming in there to you saying, “Well, that explains the gunshots.” And I think I even said to you, “You don’t think, do you?” You kind of downplayed it and said no, and I remember I went back into the room. I just knew. Something in me knew. And I don’t know how I knew, I just knew.
Wendy Lyons:
I texted to her shortly thereafter asking her if she wanted to go to Jamaica with me next month. I texted her at 9:08 and she didn’t answer. And so I sent her a Facebook message so that I could see if she read it or not. And she didn’t answer. I thought, well, he might be home tonight, so she’ll call me in the morning. I know she’ll respond to this, even if… I didn’t figure she’d be able to go, but I thought it was worth asking. And so then you remember, we went on to bed, and I just kept thinking and it just kept nagging. And deep down, I really, really knew, but nothing else was released. T’s all there was. And so the next morning, Monday 7th, when we woke up, I saw on the headlines, it said, “Murder-suicide Nicholasville, Kentucky. Man shoots wife in home, shoots himself in his vehicle.” And it said her three children were home.
Wendy Lyons:
And at that point I really knew, but I kept trying to tell myself there’s other ladies in this town that have three children. She’s not the only one. But I think I kept trying to reason with myself because I knew. I just knew. And then I began to obsess over it. And then a little bit later, maybe 10 minutes later, I saw a different headline, and it had a picture of the house and it said the road. It said Linden Lane. And I knew at that moment when I saw that house. And you recall, I came in and woke you up and I said, “This is her home.” And then it was later confirmed that it was her and him. And I just knew. Really, I knew the night before, but when I confirmed it, I just couldn’t believe that that had happened.
Wendy Lyons:
I mean, I think deep down over these past two years, I thought… I think you and I talked. I thought he was probably shoving her around or pushing her, although I didn’t have proof, but I didn’t think it would get to this point. I thought it best… And even you had said, “She’s going to pull in here one day with two black eyes. I just know it.” And I think I knew that too, but I never thought this. I thought maybe he’d tried to fight her, and I thought she definitely would fight him back. I never dreamed that. And then when it showed that house and it had the tape, the caution tape around the front porch, I just… I was sick. I was so sick.
David Lyons:
I had always hoped that she would just see the light one day and work her way from it. I was hoping for that because I knew that you all’s friendship would rekindle and come back around. There was always a concern of mine though that… That day I told you that, that he struck me as the person based on everything that I was hearing, that not a guarantee, but would be capable of something like this. And I think that’s what broke my heart on behalf of you breaking heart with losing her, that it still is very difficult for me to even wrap my mind around the fact that she’s gone. And I’m not as close to her as you are. Did you get involved with any of this after the fact, in the immediacy of it, as far as planning or doing anything?
Wendy Lyons:
I did. I reached out that morning to her sister and her dad, and then her son called me and we cried on the phone. And I told him, “If you need anything, please, please just let me know. Anything, I’m here.” We hung up with the promise of he’ll keep me abreast of what they do. It might have been five minutes and he called right back. And I thought, well, he’s probably forgotten to tell me something or ask me something. And he asked me, “Would you please go let the company in that does clean ups,” there’s companies that do this type thing, “Will you please go let them in the house?” Because they couldn’t bear to do it, which is very understandable. I said, yes. I knew that she would do it for me, and I said yes without hesitation. So I went to her father’s house where everyone was gathered, and I spent some time with them until it was time for me to go meet the company. And then I went over there.
David Lyons:
Was that difficult?
Wendy Lyons:
It was very difficult. I got there early. For everybody who knows me, knows I’m never early for anything, but I wanted to get there early because I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know if I would… I didn’t know how I would react. So I wanted time to get there before this company showed up and at least prepare myself. And it was very difficult. So I got myself there and I went to the truck first because I thought they were going to ask me to let them in it. I think really I was stalling. Finally, I just told myself, “You just got to do it. Go.” And so I opened up the front door and I went in so that I would kind of know what to show the gentleman.
Wendy Lyons:
Keep in mind, I’d never gotten to go to this new house. I wasn’t invited there. She had invited me at times when he wasn’t there, while he was at work. But it was usually when we had something going on and I couldn’t make it. So I had never been in the home. I didn’t know where the kitchen was, let alone where anything took place. So I needed to familiarize myself with stuff so that I could help this gentleman that was coming.
David Lyons:
Was it pretty clear that that was a crime scene that you walked into?
Wendy Lyons:
It was very clear. It was every bit horrific. That house told a story the minute I walked in it. I saw where it started. I saw where it continued to and I saw where it ended. And it was just like something that you would read in a book. That house told a story.
David Lyons:
Do you regret going in and doing it?
Wendy Lyons:
No, I don’t. I don’t regret it, because again, she would’ve done that for me. I still struggle with that. I asked you, “How do you unsee that?” Because I know you’ve done this for a living. I think if I’d done it for somebody else that I wasn’t close to, I don’t think it would’ve… I can’t say it wouldn’t have bothered me, but it wouldn’t have bothered me to the same extent. But for myself, because it was her and really the only person that I’m closest to, aside of you and my son, she was really just my only person, and my only person that knows everything about me. So that took it to a whole nother level. And it really bothered me. And like I said, I can’t unsee that. It’s very troublesome for me. I keep replaying that in my head a lot. And I just think… Because I know where it started and I know where it ended.
Wendy Lyons:
And it went for a while. There were a lot of holes in walls, in door frames and cabinets. I think the horror that she went through, the amount of what I saw in that house, had to be horrific for her. And I tried to play in my mind. Was she even talking? Was she so scared that she was just running? Was she screaming and pleading? Was she trying to get out the front door? Because ultimately she fell real close to the front door. Her children, the horror that her children was in. Was she trying to get to her children? I just really wonder what she was going through those last few seconds. But that scene told a lot. It told a whole, whole ugly, horrific story of rage and anger.
David Lyons:
I think that’s the irony of this is that here we produce a show based on this, and that we’ve done several segments on domestic violence in varying degrees, but when it comes close to home, it means something different. And I think that the hard part will be is that is not maybe not wanting to know all of that, but after you see it, like you said, it is pretty difficult to unsee, especially if you’re close to somebody. Because you don’t have the luxury of being able to disconnect for factual purposes. That’s the difference.
Wendy Lyons:
Yeah. And I’m not saying that if it were somebody else’s loved one, that it would be easy. But I think when you’ve spent so much time and energy that’s been put into a friendship, it’s just-
David Lyons:
It’s altogether different.
Wendy Lyons:
It’s different.
David Lyons:
It’s altogether different than being an investigator that goes to a scene of somebody that you probably don’t know. It was very rare that we knew many of the people. Sometimes that did happen, but it’s altogether different than going to the scene of where you lost somebody that you genuinely love. And that’s a completely different ball of wax. Since this has happened, in the wake of all of this… And have you heard any more about who he was as far as past relationships or anything like that?
Wendy Lyons:
It has been so crazy because I’ve had more than one person, to the tune of five or six, to reach out to me, some people that I knew who they were, but I don’t know them. They have reached out to me with stories of this wasn’t the first domestic violence. This wasn’t the first girl who got the heebie-jeebies of him. And so these people are reaching out saying, “I dated him and I had to get away from him. I knew he was crazy. He was possessive. He was controlling.” Whatever word they used to describe him. And it just blows my mind, because some of these people, like me, they knew it too. They knew what was going to happen. And they said, “I wish that I had told her, but I didn’t want her to be upset because I dated him, and I didn’t want her to feel like I just was… didn’t want her to be with him because I wasn’t with him no more, but I wasn’t with him no more because of how he was.”
Wendy Lyons:
And one person in particular told me, I really wish I had told her, but I didn’t want her think that I was just meddling, or I was trying to wish I could have him back or whatever.” And she said, “That’s just a hard thing to approach somebody and say, ‘Listen, let me tell you what you got on your hands.'” And I understand that, and I can agree with that, but I’ve had so many people to reach out to me and say that they know of these things with him.
David Lyons:
Well, that emphasizes the fact that as we’re looking at this, that these are not isolated cases. People that behave this way, develop that. They just become that. What I’m getting at is that I think I remember you telling me that in the very early part of the investigation, she had disclosed to you that he had a domestic violence charge on his criminal history somewhere. Is that correct?
Wendy Lyons:
More than one.
David Lyons:
Okay. And again, again, huge red flag, huge red flag. But this whole thing points to of what I said before is like a stereotypical checklist person with control, with isolation, with emotional abuse, with technology abuse, with the idea of being there, that I’m controlling your communication availability. I’m controlling the isolation into I’m going to separate you from your family a little bit more. I’m going to drive a wedge in there. I’m going to take the people that are to you, and I’m going to keep you from speaking to them because they could speak to the truth. I’m not surprised that in the wake of this horrific incident, that other people are starting to put things together, that again… What’s the difference between somebody who’s just not a good person and then somebody who’s capable of this type of evil? And that’s the rough part.
David Lyons:
But that leads me next to the part that we need to really talk about here, and we’ve talked about it in some of the other episodes, is what people can do. Because I don’t want to leave this flat without speaking to the fact of what people can do. And we’ve talked before, for example, on the murder of Umi Southworth, when you were talking about people coming forward. I still remember in the pos- investigation where they found people years later that had been with the suspect in that case, the abuse that they’d been mounted, and the emotional abuse was incredible. And they found that years later, that people in his wake, for example.
David Lyons:
The first thing we always tell people is to reach out for help. And I know that sounds simple for people sometimes. Sure, call 911. And I get that you call locally. We always provide the number, the 800 number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline, which is a clearing house with a lot of expertise. I’m going to give that real quick. It’s 1-800-799-7233. That’s the national center. They can divert you to different resources and to help get help. The thing about this is too, is that a lot of people who are listening to this may well understand that they are in an emotional or physical abuse situation. And they may understand that the options look thin, and they may feel hopeless, may feel powerless. They may feel like there’s nothing they can do. But they need to understand too, that the person that they’re dealing with has probably conditioned them to make them believe all of those things. That’s part of the pathology with this that makes it so evil.
David Lyons:
So even if you’re in a situation where you feel like there’s no hope, if you’ve been told there’s no hope, if you feel like you have financial or economic dependence on somebody, or any of those things that you can make an argument that you shouldn’t leave the relationship, you need to reach out with this confidentiality that they offer and have a talk with somebody who knows how to get these resources. One thing that I think is important to talk about here, Wendy, is that you had been talking to Angie as best you could about this, weren’t you?
Wendy Lyons:
Yeah, I had. And I found out from a person after this happened, the day that I went to that house, this person told me that he told her just four days before that Angie asked for a divorce. Now, when Angie and I talked, the word divorce never came out of her mouth directly. But when she said, “I just can’t no more,” I knew what that meant. She didn’t have to tell me divorce. But she had obviously told him because he told another person. So I truly think she was just very, very done. I think that she just had all she was willing to take.
David Lyons:
And I believe that I said this, when you told me that, that that is the most precarious part of leaving a potentially violent situation or a situation that’s been violent. And that’s why you need those professional resources to help you with that, is the idea that in my experience with the cases that I worked, is when the one part already decided to leave is where it got very dangerous. And that’s probably where the most support needs to come into. Now, as a friend, seeing somebody that’s in a bad relationship… And again, I keep pointing out that sometimes you’re just in a crummy relationship. That doesn’t mean it’s going to have any abuse or anything. It doesn’t mean it’s going to have a tragic ending. But I watched you through this whole thing. And I told you before, that I think that as a good friend, I think you did everything humanly possible to help her out.
David Lyons:
And it’s fortified because at the National Domestic Violence Center Hotline website, they talk about how you help people that are going through things like this. And some of the things I watched you do is, that they list on the website, is talking about acknowledging the situation’s difficult. And I know you had those conversations with her. That was that ear you had, that you gave her all the time, not being judgemental about their decisions and refusing to criticize them. It’s about empathy at that moment. I’m a big believer if you push somebody too far, you’ll put them in a corner and they’ll get defensive. The other thing too, is that we talked through this entire thing about the idea that nobody can rescue somebody else, that you have to be realistic about that. And that at some point, the decisions they make are theirs.
David Lyons:
In the wake of that, that’s important to around because a lot of people carry guilt about that. But that’s also not even if it has a tragic ending is the idea that if you’re working with somebody that’s going through this, you can’t get frustrated to that degree or blame yourself if they’re not acting on your advice. That’s important. Another thing too, is they recommend not speaking poorly of the abusive partner, because again, you’ve got somebody that’s in an advocacy mode. They aren’t going to hear and listen to that. Down the road, you can help create a safety plan. Maybe a person can help by talking about, “Here are some options that I’ve learned about how we can do things if things get bad or you feel like you’re jeopardized.”
David Lyons:
And then no matter what, to always be supportive of them. I think the biggest thing is that you really, really were an ear for Angie. And again, my hope, probably quietly through the whole thing, was that eventually she’d leave him and she’d divorce him and she’d re-track her life. One of the benefits of that would be to rekindle y’all’s relationship. And I knew that you would be there for her.
Wendy Lyons:
Oh, absolutely. I always hold onto that hope too. And even if the talks were far and few in between while in their relationship, it never was, “Why haven’t you called me?” We just picked right back up like we talked yesterday, like we didn’t miss a beat. And that’s just how it always was with us all these years through the other… The 31 years, the different relationships that she had been in or I’d been in, or this type thing, we never missed a beat even when time passed. And so I didn’t beat her up for why haven’t you called me. I knew, and she didn’t need me to tell her that I knew. She knew that I knew she knew. And so I was just there for always through thick and thin, good and bad. That was what we always were there for. And I felt like when she was ready to make a move, she’d say, “I’m ready to make a move.” And I’d say, “Okay, what do we need to do?” And that’s just how it was.
David Lyons:
Yeah. I think between the control he had exercised on her is that I think that she had a little bit of sense of pride to it too, that she’d committed to this as a marriage. And you were right when you said that she wanted to be loved as much as she could love somebody else. That was probably the biggest thing about Angie, who Angie was.
Wendy Lyons:
She did. She was just such a giving person. She just had a heart of gold.
David Lyons:
Well, as we close out, and again, I think we need to remind people that if they’re in a situation is to seek help. If they know of somebody that’s in a situation is to be that supportive partner that can navigate them through that and help them find the resources. But let me ask you one thing, as we leave this and close this one out. What would you say to Angie if she could hear you right now?
Wendy Lyons:
I think I would tell her, “Thank you for 31 years of the best friendship I’ve ever, ever had. Thank you for all the long talks, for being there. We’ve been through deaths of my dad, her mom, births, divorces, marriages. Thank you for being the person that was always my person.”
David Lyons:
The Murder Police Podcast is hosted by Wendy and David Lyons, and was created to honor the lives of crime victims so their names are never forgotten. It is produced, recorded and edited by David Lyons. The Murder Police Podcast can be found on your favorite Apple or Android podcast platform, as well as at murderpolicepodcast.com, which is our website and has show notes for imagery and audio and video files related to the cases you’re going to hear. We are also on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, LinkedIn, and YouTube, which has closed caption available for those that are hearing impaired. If you’ve enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe for more, and give us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you download your podcast from. Subscribe to The Murder Police Podcast and set your player to automatically download new episodes so you get the new ones as soon as they drop. And please tell your friends. Lock it down, Judy.
